Beginning the Blog

1 January 2012

Ah, the blank page.  Fresh, open, mine.  Tonight, the quiet clicking of keys is peaceful and familiar.  It's been years since I sat down to write.  As 2012 begins, the days lengthen and I resolve to do a few things for myself, including finally putting my English degree to good use.  Bear with me as I tentatively touch my toe to the blogging pool.  Here's hoping it's warm and that sometimes my words stir a ripple.

My children are asleep; my husband sips scotch at the other end of the couch.  He laughs, shaking his head as he says that he's been trying to get me to write as long as we've been married.

Today is a day for keeping resolutions.  My goals are simple this year: be positive, satisfied, peaceful.  Then there are the everyday things...

Make time to "date" my husband again and get back the pre-parenthood romance.  
Be a more calm, patient mama.
Sit and watch my children play in the mud without worrying about how to get them into the tub and how much more laundry they are making.
Miss the friends I've moved away from without feeling resentful that we moved because my husband has a steady, secure job.
Sew more for my own babies.
Obsess less over mopping the floors and keeping the house spotless.
Get back to yoga--I need the workout, serenity, and time to myself.
Do more in my community as a childbirth educator and doula and advocate for better maternity care and breastfeeding in Mississippi.
Read a few "smart" books, not just mysteries, vampire chick lit, and birth/breastfeeding books.


With three cats, a dog, a busy three year old girl, and a one year old boy, our house will never be perfect, nor will I.  While writing tonight, the image of  Mu Qi's Six Persimmons kept coming to mind--the little (I'm assuming) Buddhist monk working his brush as an act of meditation.  In keeping with that sort of Zen philosophy, I hope to remember that enlightenment ultimately comes with an emptying of self, letting go of expectations and just Being--being Present and Open to the richness of life without passing judgment.  The more I let go, the more I will be able to give.  May my words be spontaneous, expressive, and clear like those carefully placed persimmons.