On Slowing Down

It’s 11:00 on a Thursday.  The kids are still in pj’s.  It’s a bummy movie day.  Here’s how we got here:

• Last Friday, Isabelle started breaking out in poison ivy.  It’s finally getting better but still bumpy and gets itchy when she gets hot playing.  I spent two nights in her bed to keep on top of Benadryl and topical creams so she would not scratch to bleeding in her sleep.  This means I slept not so well, got kicked, snuggled a sweaty little sleeper, and got a crick in my neck.  Her mattress is not the finest.  We intentionally got an inexpensive one so if it got ruined with bodily fluids, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.  This decision was made naively without considering that WE would end up sleeping on it some, too. 

• The last two nights she has spent in our bed with me.  Better, but still sleeping contorted to avoid her thrashing upside-down sleeping self.  Waking up to toes in my face while the incision spot on my forehead is still sore is not thrilling.  This morning, I got up at 5:30 to treat itching boo-boos, got back in the bed to snuggle for a while, and eventually made motions to get up around 6:15.  My neck sent me a big “F you!” as I stretched—that crick in my neck?  Well, in that general area, I had a muscle spasm so strong that I froze, facedown mid-stretch.  It’s been since before Isabelle was born that I had one like that!  It was so bad at first that I couldn’t move my head or left arm at all.  A heating pad alternated with a huge cold pack, an 800mg Motrin, a smear of muscle ache cream, a long soak in the tub with jets pointed right at tender spots, some gentle head-turning to stretch, and another turn on the cold pack, and it’s feeling manageable.  

• So back to this morning…Frank, wonderful man that he is, fixed Isabelle breakfast, made up the bed, and got Will up and pottied.  I would have been hurting really, really badly if I’d had to do that first off!   Will eventually wanted breakfast, and wandered into the kitchen…where he proceeded to get that funny look and throw up a little bit in his hand.  About this same time, Isabelle announces that she has to poop and scurries off to the potty.  This is 3 days of daily going, which is not her usual.  Either gluten-free really suits her, or Houston we have a problem.  What the hell is going on in my house?  All I want to do is clean a little so that we can have friends over tomorrow to play.  I have no idea what the throw up was all about, but he happily (and slowly) at a banana and some plain cheerios at the table with a big bowl for throwing up at hand.  I made them both a double probiotic, double elderberry syrup in apple juice (organic!) topped off with water to stave off any potential bugs and am set to watch and wait today.  Luckily, nothing further has developed on this upset stomach front.

Taking a step back, I’m thinking all of this is a big kick in the pants to force me to slow down and look at priorities.  At first, I was all frustrated this morning that my week of being active (walking/strolling and yoga) and productive (keeping house neat/clean, cooking healthy stuff) was shot.  There are things I HAVE to do today to meet my own expectation.  Wait a minute.  The world is going to continue going ‘round if I don’t vacuum or cook dinner.  So, I start thinking about the Deepak Chopra Soul of Healing Affirmations album I downloaded on Sunday.  Sure it seems cheesy, but it works.  It’s making me think at least.  I’ve only listened to a hand full of the tracks and will not add more until I remember these few and am incorporating them into my daily life.

“…Our body is…the battleground for the wars we wage within our minds.  By changing the conversation that is happening in our minds, we influence the body so the body will become the playground instead of the battleground for the wars you wage in your mind.  Your body will become the playground for all the love that you want to create in your life.”

~Deepak Chopra

Do any of the things I am dead set on doing improve my own or my family's happiness or health?  Nope. Does worrying about getting it all tended to increase my stress, make my fuse shorter, and take my focus down a negative path.  Yes indeedee.   My kids would rather run around in pjs (even in the back yard today), watch movies, eat a pizza from the freezer, and get out every toy we own than be put together, eat a perfectly balanced meal, and pick up as we go about the day. 

Here is a list of things I will *not* be accomplishing today, things that can get kicked down the list of priorities until I can at least turn my head again:

Vacuuming, mopping, bathroom cleaning, dusting, fixed hair, putting on a bra, shaving my legs, ironing, baking, cooking dinner,  exercising, obsessive toy picking up 3x a day, full laundry basket, and chickens who’d like to peck around the back yard.

I’m sure there are more things that will be left undone without ruining my life, my week, or my day.  I'm making an effort to slow down, play more, and praise my kids more.  Those things can be hard to do when I'm so caught up in all of the "have-to's" I pressure myself to complete.  Nobody else in the house shares my sometimes extreme expectations.  

What in your daily life can you let go of or reprioritize to increase your wellbeing and decrease anxiety?